So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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