I wanna passion pit in your ass
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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