Dual....:-)
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
