i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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