He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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