are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
