Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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