i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I forget how to act sober
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize