Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize