he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She bit a glass in half.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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