After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
