I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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