I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We are all done wearing pants today
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
