i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
