So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
