may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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