it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
