i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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