there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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