Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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