He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
