I have demons in me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
