Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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