No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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