Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
