I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
