So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
whose parrot is this?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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