covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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