Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
