If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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