He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
