With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you never un-have a 4some
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
