I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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