There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
