I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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