Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
