i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
