Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
