we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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