its not stalking. its research.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
