Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
