I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
