What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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