the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
