now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
