What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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