Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
