I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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