The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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