i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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