Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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