12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
