Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
