Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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