that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
