I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We got so high we made milksteak
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
