Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.