sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.