I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?