Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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(+49): View more from Germany

Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines

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(712): View more from Iowa

You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.

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(616): View more from Michigan

EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.

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(602): View more from Arizona

So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.

(505): View more from New Mexico

The most literal cowgirl position ever.

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(276): View more from Virginia

She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.

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