i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.