You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
